TED- 我们为什么需要明白自己的生命是有意义的？

摘要：When we think about the most meaningful jobs in the world, firefighters are among the top of the list, right?

When we think about the most meaningful jobs in the world, firefighters are among the top of the list, right?

当我们思考世界上最有意义的工作时，消防员无疑名列前茅，对吧？

While most of us run from danger, they run straight into it, risking their lives to save ours.

虽然我们大多数人面对危险时会逃跑，但他们却勇往直前，冒着生命危险来拯救我们。

The impact of their work is undeniable.

他们的工作影响是不可否认的。

At least that's what I had always assumed, until I met a firefighter named Greg, who told me that even firefighters can struggle to see the impact of their work.

至少我一直这么认为，直到我遇到了一位名叫格雷格的消防员，他告诉我，即使是消防员，也可能会难以看到自己工作的成效。

"Really? How? How can that be?" I remember asking Greg.

“真的吗？怎么做到的？怎么可能？”我记得我问格雷格。

And he explained with a story.

他通过一个故事来解释。

When he was a rookie, he and his crew were called to a horrific car wreck.

当他还是个新手时，他和他的队员们被派去处理一起可怕的车祸现场。

A woman was trapped inside.

一名女子被困其中。

Her legs were pinned under the twisted steel.

她的双腿被扭曲的钢材压住了。

Greg's training took over.

格雷格的本能反应接管了一切。

He looked for an opening and he found a jagged opening.

他寻找着突破口，终于发现了一个参差不齐的裂缝。

Slid through to put his heavy bunker coat around the woman to shield her from the glass as they worked to rescue her.

他迅速行动，将厚重的防火外套披在女子身上，保护她免受玻璃碎片的伤害，同时他们一起努力将她救出。

Greg promised he would stay by her side and they would get her out, and they did.

格雷格承诺会守在她身边，并把她救出去，他们确实做到了。

But here is the part of Greg's story that stuck with me.

但格雷格的故事中让我难以忘怀的部分是。

After that intense experience, Greg would never know what happened next.

在那次紧张的经历之后，格雷格将永远不会知道接下来发生了什么。

Did the woman survive?

那位女士幸存下来了吗？

Did she ever walk again?

她后来能走路了吗？

Did their efforts that night make any difference?

那晚他们的努力有意义吗？

It surprised me to learn that firefighters rarely hear about the outcomes of their rescues.

得知消防员很少听到他们救援行动的结果，这让我感到惊讶。

Over time, that lack of closure can erode morale, fuel burnout, even cynicism.

久而久之，这种未解之结会侵蚀士气，助长倦怠，甚至滋生愤世嫉俗之情。

So years later, when Greg became fire chief, he created a system to change that.

因此，多年后当格雷格成为消防队长时，他建立了一套系统来改变这一现状。

He tracked the outcomes of rescues because he wanted his firefighters to know when their efforts had saved a life or eased someone's suffering, because Greg knew something vital: It is not enough to do important work.

他追踪救援的结果，因为他希望消防员们知道，何时他们的努力拯救了一条生命或减轻了他人的痛苦，因为格雷格深知一个关键事实：仅仅从事重要工作是不够的。

We need to know our work makes a difference.

我们需要知道自己的工作是有意义的。

We need to know we matter.

我们需要知道自己的存在是有意义的。

I'm a journalist, and for the past six years, I've interviewed hundreds of people around the world like Greg, asking them a question.

我是一名记者，过去六年里，我采访了世界各地像格雷格这样的数百人，向他们提出了一个问题。

Do you feel like you matter?

你觉得自己重要吗？

For too many, the answer was no.

对太多人来说，答案是否定的。

A doctor I interviewed described feeling powerless now that insurance companies were denying her patients the care they needed.

我采访的一位医生描述了如今保险公司拒绝为她的病人提供所需治疗时，她感到的无助。

A college student described feeling like she only mattered when her GPA was high and her weight was low.

一位大学生描述道，只有当她的绩点高、体重轻时，才觉得自己有价值。

An elderly man described feeling like he mattered less this way.

一位老人这样描述自己感觉变得不那么重要的感受。

He said, the hardest part of aging is that people stop relying on you.

他说，变老最难的地方在于人们不再依赖你了。

What these stories and the scientific research make clear is that to thrive in life, we need to know we matter.

这些故事和科学研究明确指出，要在生活中茁壮成长，我们需要知道自己的存在至关重要。

That is, to feel valued and to have an opportunity to add value to the world.

即感受到被重视，并有机会为世界增添价值。

When we feel like we matter, we show up fully.

当我们感到自己很重要时，我们会全力以赴。

We want to connect. We want to engage.

我们渴望交流，我们期盼互动。

We want to contribute.

我们渴望有所贡献。

But when we are made to feel like we don't matter, we often withdraw.

但当我们感觉自己无关紧要时，往往会选择退缩。

Some of us might turn to substances or self-harm to try to alleviate that pain.

我们中的一些人可能会借助药物或自残来试图减轻那种痛苦。

Others lash out in anger.

其他人则愤怒地爆发。

Road rage, online attacks, political extremes.

路怒症、网络攻击、政治极端化。

These are all desperate attempts to say, "I'll show you I matter." And this is about to get worse.

这些都是为了证明“我会让你看到我的价值” 而做出的绝望尝试。而且情况即将变得更糟。

As AI erases jobs that once gave people a sense of identity and purpose, millions more will face this crisis of mattering.

随着人工智能逐渐淘汰那些曾赋予人们身份认同与使命感的工作，数百万计的人将面临这种“存在价值” 的危机。

The job ahead for us is not just to keep up with machines.

我们面临的任务不仅仅是与机器保持同步。

It's to protect what it means to be human.

这是为了守护人性的真谛。

To feel valued, and the responsibility we have to remind others that they are valued too.

感受被重视，以及我们有责任提醒他人他们同样被珍视。

In my research, I found that the places where we live and work can either fuel this crisis or be a key to solving it.

在我的研究中，我发现我们生活和工作的环境要么会加剧这场危机，要么会成为解决它的关键。

I visited a factory in Phillips, Wisconsin, where each workstation had a card that talked about how the piece being made fit into the final product.

我曾走访威斯康星州菲利普斯市的一家工厂，那里每个工作站都配有一张卡片，详细说明正在制作的部件如何融入最终产品。

On that card was a photo and a story of the person who would one day use it.

卡片上有一张照片和一个故事，讲述的是未来某天将使用这张卡片的人。

That story card was a powerful reminder to workers that they weren't just assembling parts, they were building something meaningful.

这个故事卡片有力地提醒了工人们，他们不仅仅是在组装零件，而是在创造有意义的东西。

Mattering at work is not some soft, squishy, nice-to-have idea.

工作中的价值感并非那种软绵绵、可有可无的空想。

It's actually good business.

这实际上是有益于业务的。

When employees know they matter, they work harder, they stay more loyal and they bring more energy to their roles.

当员工意识到自己的重要性时，他们会更加努力工作，保持更高的忠诚度，并将更多精力投入到工作中。

To matter, we need to feel valued, but we also need a chance to add value.

要有所作为，我们不仅需要感受到被重视，还需要有机会去创造价值。

And in my research, I uncovered a formula for doing this.

在我的研究中，我总结出了一个实现这一目标的公式。

Identify a need in the world, or in your community or in your neighborhood, and then use your strengths, your resources, your talents to meet it.

找出全球、你的社区或邻里中存在的某种需求，然后运用你的优势、资源和才能去满足这一需求。

I interviewed a woman named Julie outside of Boston who discovered this for herself firsthand.

我在波士顿外采访了一位名叫朱莉的女性，她亲身体验到了这一点。

For two years, Julie was her mother's full-time caregiver.

两年来，朱莉一直是她母亲的专职看护人。

When her mother passed away, Julie described feeling unmoored, purposeless.

当她的母亲去世时，朱莉形容自己感到漂泊无依，失去了生活的目标。

But instead of retreating inward in her pain, Julie had the courage to look outward for a new way to matter.

朱莉在痛苦中没有选择退缩，而是鼓起勇气向外寻找新的方式来证明自己的价值。

And when she did, she noticed two needs in her community.

当她着手处理时，她发现了社区中的两大需求。

Grieving families like hers who were struggling with what to do with their loved ones' belongings.

像她这样的哀伤家庭，正为如何处理亲人的遗物而挣扎不已。

And other families who were rebuilding after a fire or experiencing homelessness.

还有那些在火灾后重建家园或经历无家可归的家庭。

So Julie connected the two.

于是朱莉将两者联系了起来。

With a friend, she started to collect gently used home goods and deliver them to people who could use them.

她和一位朋友开始收集轻度使用的家居用品，并将它们送到有需要的人手中。

That simple act of care has transformed thousands of lives, including Julie's.

那简单的关怀之举已经改变了成千上万人的生活，包括朱莉的。

All of us here will go through painful life transitions, the loss of a loved one, an illness, maybe an empty nest, even retirement.

我们所有人都会经历痛苦的人生转折：失去挚爱、患病，或许还有空巢期，甚至退休。

These transitions can shake our sense of mattering to its core.

这些转变可能从根本上动摇我们对自己重要性的认知。

But like Julie, we have an opportunity, even a responsibility, to make ourselves useful again.

但就像朱莉一样，我们有机会，甚至有责任，让自己再次变得有用。

The way back can start small, checking in on a neighbor or appreciating out loud a colleague who's always so kind and supportive.

回归之路可以从细微处开始，比如关心一下邻居，或是当众赞赏一位总是友善且支持你的同事。

What you will find is that the fastest way to feel like you matter again is to remind someone else why they do.

你会发现，让自己再次感受到存在价值的捷径，就是提醒他人他们为何而存在。

Now at this point, some of you may be thinking, the problem isn't that I don't matter.

现在，有些人可能会想，问题不是我是否重要。

It's that I matter too much.

是我太重要了。

At home, at work.

在家中，在职场。

What you wouldn't give to matter just a little bit less.

你愿意付出什么代价，只求自己不那么重要。

Am I right?

我说的对吗？

Well, this too can be thought of as a crisis of mattering.

这同样可以被视为一种“存在感危机”。

True mattering is not about stretching ourselves to the breaking point.

真正的价值体现并非要让我们达到崩溃的边缘。

It's about balance.

这是关于平衡的。

Balancing our own needs with the needs of others.

平衡自我需求与他人需求。

For years, I have personally struggled to find this elusive balance.

多年来，我一直在努力寻找这种难以捉摸的平衡。

And then I read a study conducted at the Mayo Clinic that showed me how.

后来，我读到梅奥诊所进行的一项研究，它向我展示了其中的奥秘。

Researchers there were testing a simple intervention to strengthen resilience.

那里的研究人员正在测试一种简单的干预措施，以增强韧性。

They recruited a group of medical professionals and they had them meet for one hour a week to share their struggles and to support one another.

他们招募了一组医疗专业人员，每周让他们聚会一小时，分享各自的困境并相互支持。

After three months, the researchers found significant improvements in these participants' mental health and well-being.

三个月后，研究人员发现这些参与者的精神健康和幸福感有了显着提升。

Their cortisol levels, the stress hormone, had dropped.

他们的皮质醇水平，即压力荷尔蒙，已经下降了。

These women also reported feeling like better parents.

这些女性还表示自己成为了更好的父母。

Why?

为什么？

Because as caregivers, when we are surrounded by a strong network of support, we've become more resilient, and that resilience ripples out to our kids.

因为作为护理者，当我们被一个强大的支持网络所环绕时，我们变得更加坚韧，这种韧性也会波及到我们的孩子。

This is not an isolated finding.

这一发现并非孤立现象。

Decades of resilience research find that a child's resilience is rooted in the resilience of the adults in their lives, and adult resilience is rooted on the depth and support of our relationships.

数十年的韧性研究表明，孩子的韧性源自其生活中成年人的韧性，而成年人的韧性则植根于我们关系的深度和支持力度。

Now as caregivers, we're often told, put your oxygen mask on first.

作为护理人员，我们常被提醒：先给自己戴上氧气面罩。

But this research revealed something deeper to me.

但这项研究让我领悟到了更深层的意义。

Friends are the oxygen.

朋友是生活的氧气。

We need one or two or three people in our lives who know us intimately, who can see when we are struggling, and who will reach over and put that oxygen mask on for us.

在我们的生活中，需要有一两个甚至三个人，他们能深入了解我们，察觉到我们何时陷入困境，并愿意伸出援手，为我们戴上那救命的氧气面罩。

That is a very different level of support than we normalize in our busy culture today.

这种支持程度与我们当今忙碌文化中普遍接受的水平大不相同。

But here's how I've come to look at it.

但我是这样看待它的。

When I don't reach out for help, not only do I deny myself the support I need, I also deny my friend the chance of being a helper, of feeling needed, like she matters to me.

当我没有寻求帮助时，我不仅剥夺了自己所需的支持，也剥夺了朋友成为帮助者的机会，让她失去了被需要的感觉，仿佛她对我并不重要。

So the next time you hesitate, I hope you'll remember this.

所以下次当你犹豫不决时，我希望你能记住这一点。

Asking for help isn't weak.

寻求帮助并不代表软弱。

It is an act of generosity.

这是一种慷慨的行为。

Now to matter, it is a very personal experience, but it's also relational.

现在来谈谈“重要性” ，这是一种非常个人化的体验，但同时也与他人息息相关。

And it has the power to connect our disconnected world.

它还拥有将我们这个日益疏离的世界紧密相连的力量。

A wonderful example of this is taking place at the Dutch supermarket chain Jumbo, where they have instituted slow checkout lanes where the cashiers take extra time to chat, especially with elderly customers.

一个很好的例子发生在荷兰超市连锁店Jumbo，他们设立了慢速结账通道，收银员会花更多时间与顾客聊天，尤其是老年顾客。

Amazing, right?

令人惊叹,对吧?

This simple fix for loneliness has now been rolled out in nearly 200 locations.

这一解决孤独感的简易方法已在近200个地点推广实施。

The lesson for us?

对我们而言，这一课是什么？

We don't need to build new spaces to unlock each other's mattering.

我们无需新建场所来彼此彰显重要性。

We just need to be more intentional about the spaces we already have.

我们只需更加用心地利用已有的空间。

Once you see the world through the lens of mattering, you can't unsee it.