和而不同也应该是二人世界修习的功课

摘要：有人说，这个世界的药分中药、西药。中药一直在找祖传秘方，西药一直在做更新换代。相信祖传秘方的，那么祖传秘方就是人类的巅峰时刻，无法被超越了。另一个朋友不同意，其实东西方都在反复求教于祖传秘方，区别是，别人总是试图把祖传的与新世界的需要结合，而我们总是妄想新的世

有人说，这个世界的药分中药、西药。中药一直在找祖传秘方，西药一直在做更新换代。相信祖传秘方的，那么祖传秘方就是人类的巅峰时刻，无法被超越了。另一个朋友不同意，其实东西方都在反复求教于祖传秘方，区别是，别人总是试图把祖传的与新世界的需要结合，而我们总是妄想新的世界能够符合祖传。

或曰：世之药分中西。中药恒求祖传秘方，西药屡作更新换代。信秘方者，则以祖传为人类之巅，不可越也。一友非之：实则东西方皆反复求教于古方，异者在彼力图融古方于新世之需，而吾辈妄冀新世合于祖传。

Some say medicines in the world are divided into Chinese and Western medicine. Chinese medicine constantly seeks ancestral secret formulas, while Western medicine continually updates itself. Those who believe in secret formulas consider them the peak of human achievement, insurmountable. Another friend disagreed: In fact, both East and West repeatedly turn to ancient formulas; the difference is that others always try to integrate the ancestral with the needs of the new world, while we vainly hope the new world will conform to the ancestral.

有个读者分享他的经验说，我的心情从期待、到着急从这本书中获取答案，却因看不懂而下决心再读，抄书时感受到了安静，内心的踏实，睡眠有所好转，睡前不再胡思乱想。到现在读完有些许感动。我想我获得了我想得到的东西。我想要的是“培养内心的力量，对抗人性中的恶。”，我感受到了到了生命之源泉一直在流动，而我之前距离它们太遥远，所以以前总是感觉生活哪里不得劲，容易被烦恼牵着走，尽管我之前衣食无忧。现在我的物质生活依然和以前一样，我的内心却慢慢稳下来了，安定下来了。日子突然变得明媚开朗了。大脑即使偶尔胡思乱想，想一会后内心又会变得安定。感觉挺幸福的。

一读者分享其经验云：吾心由期待至焦切，欲自书中得解，然因不解而决意复读，抄书时感宁静、心安，眠稍佳，寝前不复妄念。及读毕，微觉感动。想已得所求。所求者，“养内心之力，抗人性之恶。”乃觉生命之源恒流，而昔时远之，故常觉生活欠妥，易为烦恼所牵，虽衣食无虞。今物质生活如旧，内心渐稳而安。日子豁然明朗。纵偶生妄念，思片刻后心复归定。颇感幸福。

A reader shared his experience: My emotions shifted from anticipation to eagerness to get answers from the book, but due to lack of understanding, I resolved to reread it. While copying the text, I felt tranquility and inner steadiness; my sleep improved, and I no longer overthought before bed. Now, after finishing, I feel somewhat moved. I think I have gained what I wanted. I desired to "cultivate inner strength to resist the evil in human nature." I felt the fountain of life always flowing, but I was too far from it before, so life always felt somewhat off, and I was easily led by worries, despite having no material lacks. Now my material life remains the same, but my heart has gradually stabilized and settled. Days suddenly became bright and clear. Even if my mind occasionally wanders, after a while, my heart returns to peace. I feel quite happy.

在寻常的日子里要注意自己看见过什么。一个诗人朋友说，他有一次在小区里看见一个邻居装修，装修工人中有一个中年女人，女人扛起一袋水泥的样子突然把他打动了；他说，这个细节有这个世界的真相，只是大多数人对真相视而不见。另一个朋友说，他知道一对年轻夫妇在情感婚姻的边缘挣扎，他们有一个可爱的儿子，有一天他看到爸爸带着儿子走到街角，儿子有些不愿意，爸爸无奈又强拉着儿子走路，他也被打动了。需要多少年后，儿子才可能明白，自己在成长道路上的缺憾，自己的父母曾在人性的深渊里挣扎，有过平常的又不无惊心动魄的生活，这个细节里也有这个世界的真相。

于平常之日，当留意所见。一诗人友云：尝见邻人装修，工匠中有一中年妇，妇负水泥袋之状忽动其心；曰，此细节含世之真相，然众多视而不见。另一友曰：知一对年轻夫妇于情感婚姻边陲挣扎，有稚子可爱，一日见父携子行至街角，子稍不愿，父无奈强牵而行，亦动其心。待多年后，子或方悟己成长之路有缺，其父母曾于人性深渊挣扎，有过平常而惊心之生活，此细节亦含世之真相。

In ordinary days, pay attention to what you see. A poet friend said: Once I saw a neighbor renovating their home; among the workers was a middle-aged woman, and the way she carried a bag of cement suddenly moved him. He said this detail holds the truth of the world, but most people turn a blind eye to it. Another friend said: He knew a young couple struggling on the edge of emotional marriage; they had a lovely son. One day, he saw the father walking with his son to a street corner; the son was somewhat reluctant, and the father helplessly pulled him along. This also moved him. How many years later might the son realize the shortcomings in his upbringing, that his parents once struggled in the abyss of human nature, living ordinary yet breathtaking lives? This detail, too, holds the truth of the world.

有不少年轻朋友说他们都体会到“生无可恋”这个成语，但其实他们只体会到这个话的负面意义，生无可恋还有令人欢喜赞叹的正面意义。那些在人生路上修行精进到一定境界的大德们，都在驻世的最后阶段体会过生无可恋的意境。就是说，他们对世界没有了牵挂、羁绊，他们只是面对身边人物的愿望或需要救济时，施以援手而已。芸芸众生或知道或无知地请求他们，他们才可能再入轮回，这就是小说中经常写到的场景，弟子们在师父辞世时说，愿师父慈悲众生，乘愿再来。而哲人们说，所有成熟的心都想死。

多有年轻友言体会“生无可恋”之成语，然仅知其负面之意，殊不知生无可恋亦有可喜可叹之正面意义。彼于人生路上修行精进至某境之大德，皆于驻世末阶段体会此境。即谓，彼于世间无牵挂羁绊，惟逢身边人之愿或需救济时，方施援手。众生或知或无知而请求之，彼或可再入轮回，此即小说常写之景：弟子于师逝时言，“愿师慈悲众生，乘愿再来。”而哲人云：凡成熟之心皆愿死。

Many young friends say they have experienced the idiom "life holds no more attachment," but they only understand its negative meaning. In fact, it also has a positive meaning that inspires joy and admiration. Those virtuous ones who have advanced to a certain state in their spiritual practice experience this sentiment in the final stages of their lives. That is, they have no more attachments or bonds to the world; they only extend help when faced with the wishes or needs of those around them. Only if sentient beings, knowingly or unknowingly, request it might they re-enter the cycle of rebirth. This is often depicted in novels: disciples say at their master's passing, "May the master, out of compassion for all beings, return by vow." And philosophers say: All mature hearts wish to die.

经常听到情侣们的抱怨，一方抱怨另一方如何笨，如何懒，如何不顾家，不关心不尊重他。似乎一见钟情或相约终生之后，情人开启的生活就是发现对方的各种毛病，发现两人并不同频。这种不同频带来了情侣之间无休止的争吵、战争、抑郁、崩溃；其实，同频的人是走不远的，正视不同，尤其是欣赏自己和对方的不完美更有意义。有人就说，爱情是让人看重对方的美好和跟自己的相辅相成；婚姻家庭则让人学习如何接纳对方和自己的不完美。和而不同也应该是二人世界修习的功课。

常闻情侣相怨，一方怨另一方愚、懒、不顾家、不关心不尊重己。似一见钟情或相约终生后，情人之生活即为发现对方之种种缺点，觉二人不同频。此异频致无休之争吵、争斗、抑郁、崩溃；实则，同频者难行远，正视相异，尤赏己与彼之不完美，更为有意义。或曰：爱情使人重对方之美与己之相辅相成；婚姻家庭则使人学接纳对方与己之不完美。和而不同亦应为二人世界修习之课。

Often, we hear complaints between lovers: one complains about the other's stupidity, laziness, neglect of family, lack of care or respect. It seems that after love at first sight or vowing to spend a lifetime together, lovers embark on a journey of discovering each other's flaws and realizing they are not in sync. This lack of sync leads to endless arguments, battles, depression, and breakdowns. In fact, those too similar may not go far; facing differences, especially appreciating one's own and the other's imperfections, is more meaningful. Some say love makes us value the other's goodness and complementary strengths; marriage and family teach us to accept each other's and our own imperfections. Harmony in diversity should also be a lesson practiced in the world of two.

善或具足的境界在人生当中是可望不可即的，但在人之初或人之终时，它们却是人的本质。人之将死，其言也善。一个宫姓中医朋友曾经说，他的师傅在病床上仍在担心他的经验学问，临死前急促地说，小宫子，快来摸我的脉，这就是死脉，要记住！另一个学者临终前跟年轻的学生，我们加快一点，我这岁数我心里很坦白，哪天它叫我走，我就走了。等我走了以后，就凭你的良心了，把我的志业逐步逐步推到人间。

善或具足之境，于人生中可望不可即，然于人之初或终时，彼则为人之本质。人之将死，其言也善。一宫姓中医友曾云：其师于病榻犹忧其经验学问，临终急曰：小宫子，速来摸吾脉，此即死脉，当记之！另一学者临终谓年轻学生曰：我等加快些，吾年至此，心甚坦白，它日唤吾走，吾便去矣。待吾去后，但凭汝之良心，将吾志业逐步推至人间。

The state of goodness or perfection is unattainable in life, but at life's beginning or end, it is human essence. At death's door, one's words are kind. A friend surnamed Gong, a practitioner of Chinese medicine, once said: His master, on his sickbed, still worried about passing on his knowledge and experience; before dying, he urgently said: "Xiao Gongzi, quickly feel my pulse—this is the death pulse, remember it!" Another scholar told his young student on his deathbed: "Let's hurry a bit. At my age, my heart is frank; when the day calls me to go, I will go. After I'm gone, rely on your conscience to gradually push my life's work into the world."