逻辑思维腾跃为什么高分英语作文就会给命运转折点照耀出灿烂辉煌

摘要：⑤And by coincidence, I think ㈣I have both the qualities so that ⑥I am competent to become a perfect policeman. What’s more, ㈤I det

文/刘宝彩/天津

网友就其写的“My dream job”为题英语作文，要求本文作者点评如下：

为便于点评网友如下英语作文，标注了顺序号。

㈠My dream job is a police ①which is consider as a wonderful occupation. ②It is ten years old that I decided to be a policeman. ③That my father is a police makes a difference in my job choice. ㈡Not only do I think does this job is deeply needed by persons but I can help a great number of humans. ㈢As for police, patience and bravery are the first standards ④for people who are dying to join the lines.

⑤And by coincidence, I think ㈣I have both the qualities so that ⑥I am competent to become a perfect policeman. What’s more, ㈤I determine to study hard in order to make my dream job admired by others come true one day.

一、网友英语作文有六点如下内容：㈠ My dream job is a police ㈡ does this job is deeply needed by persons but I can help a great number of humans ㈢ As for police, patience and bravery are the first standards ㈣ have both the qualities ㈤determine to study hard ㈥make my dream job…come true one day。其中：㈡的is 应改为as ；㈣的qualities是什么？没有叙述清楚

二、网友英语作文的无效内容有六点：

①which is consider as a wonderful occupation. ②It is ten years old that I decided to be a policeman. ③That my father is a police makes a difference in my job choice. ④for people who are dying to join the lines. ⑤And by coincidence, I think…⑥I am competent to become a perfect policeman. What’s more。

由此看出：网友英语作文的观点、理由、结果，以及如何成为警察的发方等内容说的很少，相反不该说的内容很多，例如：美丽的职业（a wonderful occupation）、十多岁就决定当警察（It is ten years old that I decided to be a policeman）等等。

三、要叙述清楚当警察理由，及当警察的结果，即：为什么想当警察，当警察的结果是什么。让读者知道：警察把人民的利益当做最重要的利益放在第一位的观点的证据包括理论和实践证据……最后贴近主题说出：我要当警察、为此本文作者写作英语作文如下：

The police is at people’s service day and night, finding the solution to social problem and safeguarding their interests to keep sociality in order. All police, whose natural sense of justice is to have always with people, anytime and anywhere, keeps them safe in life and at work mentally and materially or physically, by teaching someone to know right from wrong.

The policemen and policewomen are often working potentially at risk, with bravery and hard work, enabling people to avoid suffering material loss. They are able to develop intellectually, analytically and physically, in the interest of people together with of Chinese nation, getting admired and respected by all people, in my view.

The police are always giving people protection for their safety hour by hour and day by day. This brings the police not to unite with their families in holidays seasons but to carry out the people-serving responsibilities and obligations, on duty, in all their glory.

To their safety, happiness, enjoyment, police consider people’s interests as being important to the top, helping them with physical and mental health that needs to maintain day and night.

The police-done job, the great one, makes sociality stable in people’s lives and at work, by providing them with services, great and small, to their glory.

My dream is expected to come true for being one of the policemen whom I would follow by working hard at doing courses, at present, in school.

（241个字）

上述英语作文中文大意如下：

警察日日夜夜都地为民服务，发现问题解决问题，以维护人民的利益，确保社会公共秩序正常运转。警察的正义感随时随地都伴随着人们。所以让人们感到在精神和物质或身体方面的安全,通过教给人们知道辨别是非的能力。

男警察女警察，因为他们勇敢、努力工作使得人们可以避免物质损失，遭受物质损失，这样常常处于潜在的风险当中工作。我认为，警察能发挥他们的智力、分析能力、体力，以便维护人民群众的利益和中国国家的利益，如此得到了人民的羡慕和尊敬。

警察总是日日夜夜地保护人民的安全。由此警察不是在节假日与他们的家人团聚，而是在工作岗位光荣地履行他们为人民服务的责任和义务。

警察为了人民的安全、幸福、快乐，把人民的利益当做最重要的利益放在第一位。日夜帮助人们守护着他们的身体和精神的健康。

警察所做的工作是一件伟大神圣的工作，通过向人们光荣地提供大大小小的服务保持人民生活和工作的社会稳定。

梦想是期待着成为一名人民警察，我要向他们学习，在目前，在学校里要努力地学好文化课程。

总结：

内容思想观点最最重要，其次才有英语句式，而不是相反。网友写英语作文评为接近三类文+，有必要均衡学习并运用写作英语思维四方法，包括一因一果、一因多果、多因一果、多因多果。逻辑思维腾跃帮助高分英语作文就会给命运转折点照耀出灿烂辉煌！

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