摘要：Artists are sometimes able to capture this quicksilver, fleeting emotional response. My friend Robert Grossman is an accom- plished

PART ONE

How to Intrigue Everyone Without Saying a Word

YouOnlyHaveTenSecondsto ShowYou’reaSomebody

如何一言不发就引起所有人的兴趣

你只有十秒钟来展现自己的不凡

The exact moment that two humans lay eyes on each other has awesome potency. The first sight of you is a brilliant holograph. It burns its way into your new acquaintance’s eyes and can stay emblazoned in his or her memory forever.

两个人目光交汇的那一刻蕴含着巨大的力量。人们对你的第一印象就像一幅生动的全息图。它会烙印在新相识的眼中，并可能永远留在他或她的记忆里。

Artists are sometimes able to capture this quicksilver, fleeting emotional response. My friend Robert Grossman is an accom- plished caricature artist who draws regularly for Forbes, Newsweek, SportsIllustrated, RollingStone, and other popular publications. Bob has a unique gift for capturing not only the physical appear- ance of his subjects, but for zeroing in on the essence of their per- sonalities. The bodies and souls of hundreds of luminaries radiate from his sketch pad. One glance at his caricatures of famous peo- ple and you can actually “see” their personalities.

艺术家有时能够捕捉到这种稍纵即逝的情感反应。我的朋友罗伯特・格罗斯曼是一位技艺精湛的漫画艺术家，他经常为《福布斯》《新闻周刊》《体育画报》《滚石》和其他流行刊物作画。鲍勃有一种独特的天赋，他不仅能捕捉到人物的外貌特征，还能精准地聚焦于他们的个性本质。数百位名人的身心形象从他的画本中散发出来。只需看一眼他画的名人漫画，你就能真正 “看到” 他们的个性。

Sometimes at a party, Bob will do a quick sketch on a cock- tail napkin of a guest. Hovering over Bob’s shoulder, the onlook- ers gasp as they watch their friend’s image and essence materialize before their eyes. When he’s finished drawing, he puts his pen down and hands the napkin to the subject. Often a puzzled look comes over the subject’s face. He or she usually mumbles some politeness like, “Well, er, that’s great. But it really isn’t me.”

有时在派对上，鲍勃会在一张鸡尾酒餐巾纸上快速为一位宾客画一幅素描。旁观者们围在鲍勃身后，看着他们朋友的形象和本质在眼前逐渐显现，不禁倒吸一口气。画完后，他放下笔，把餐巾纸递给被画者。被画者脸上常常会露出困惑的神情。他或她通常会含糊地说些礼貌的话，比如：“嗯，呃，画得很棒。但这真的不是我。”

The crowd’s convincing crescendo of “Oh yes it is!” drowns the subject out and squelches any lingering doubt. The confused subject is left to stare back at the world’s view of himself or her- self in the napkin.

人群中响亮而肯定的 “哦，是的，这就是你！” 的声音淹没了被画者的话，消除了任何残留的疑虑。困惑的被画者只能盯着餐巾纸上世界眼中的自己。

Once when I was visiting Bob’s studio, I asked him how he could capture people’s personalities so well. He said, “It’s simple. I just look at them.”

有一次我去鲍勃的工作室参观，问他是如何如此出色地捕捉人们的个性的。他说：“很简单，我只是看着他们。”

“No,” I asked, “How do you capture their personalities? Don’t you have to do a lot of research about their lifestyle, their history?”
“不，” 我问，“你是怎么捕捉他们的个性的？难道你不需要对他们的生活方式、历史做很多研究吗？”

“No, I told you, Leil, I just look at them.”

“Huh?”
“不，我告诉过你，莱尔，我只是看着他们。”
“啊？”

He went on to explain, “Almost every facet of people’s per- sonalities is evident from their appearance, their posture, the way they move. For instance . . .” he said, calling me over to a file where he kept his caricatures of political figures.

他接着解释道：“人们个性的几乎每个方面都能从他们的外表、姿势和行动方式中明显看出来。比如……” 他说着，把我叫到一个存放他画的政治人物漫画的文件夹前。

“See,” Bob said, pointing to angles on various presidential body parts, “here’s the boyishness of Clinton,” showing me his half smile; “the awkwardness of the elder George Bush,” pointing to his shoul- der angle; “the charm of Reagan,” noting the ex-president’s smiling eyes; “the shiftiness of Nixon,” pointing to the furtive tilt of his head. Digging a little deeper into his file, he pulled out Franklin Delano Roosevelt and, pointing to the nose high in the air, “Here’s the pride of FDR.” It’s all in the face and the body.

“看，” 鲍勃指着不同总统身体部位的角度说，“这是克林顿的孩子气。” 他给我看克林顿的半笑；“老布什的笨拙。” 指着他的肩膀角度；“里根的魅力。” 指出这位前总统微笑的眼睛；“尼克松的鬼鬼祟祟。” 指着他偷偷倾斜的头。他又往文件夹里深挖了一点，拿出富兰克林・德拉诺・罗斯福的画，指着高高扬起的鼻子说：“这是罗斯福的骄傲。” 一切都在脸上和身体上。

First impressions are indelible. Why? Because in our fast- paced, information-overload world of multiple stimuli bombard- ing us every second, people’s heads are spinning. They must form quick judgments to make sense of the world and get on with what they have to do. So, whenever people meet you, they take an instant mental snapshot. That image of you becomes the data they deal with for a very long time.

第一印象是难以磨灭的。为什么呢？因为在我们这个快节奏、信息过载的世界里，每秒都有多种刺激向我们袭来，人们的头脑在飞速运转。他们必须迅速做出判断，以便理解这个世界并继续做他们必须做的事情。所以，每当人们见到你时，他们会瞬间在脑海中拍下一张快照。你在他们脑海中的那个形象会成为他们在很长一段时间内处理的信息。

YourBodyShrieksBeforeYour LipsCanSpeak

你的身体在你开口之前就已泄密

Are their data accurate? Amazingly enough, yes. Even before your lips part and the first syllable escapes, the essence of YOU has already axed its way into their brains. The way you look and the way you move is more than 80 percent of someone’s first impres- sion of you. Not one word need be spoken.

他们的数据准确吗？令人惊讶的是，很准确。甚至在你的嘴唇张开、第一个音节发出之前，你的本质就已经进入了他们的大脑。你的外表和你的举止在别人对你的第一印象中占比超过 80%。无需说一个字。

I’ve lived and worked in countries where I didn’t speak the native language. Yet, without one understandable syllable spoken between us, the years proved my first impressions were on target. Whenever I met new colleagues, I could tell instantly how friendly they felt toward me, how confident they were, and approximately how much stature they had in the company. I could sense, just from seeing them move, who the heavyweights were and who were the welterweights.

我在一些不说当地语言的国家生活和工作过。然而，在我们之间没有说过一个能听懂的音节的情况下，多年的经历证明我的第一印象是准确的。每当我遇到新同事时，我能立刻看出他们对我的友好程度、他们的自信程度以及他们在公司里大概的地位。仅仅从他们的举止，我就能感觉到谁是有分量的人物，谁是较次要的人物。

I have no extrasensory skill. You’d know, too. How? Because before you have had time to process a rational thought, you get a sixth sense about someone. Studies have shown emotional reac- tions occur even before the brain has had time to register what’s causing that reaction.4 Thus the moment someone looks at you, he or she experiences a massive hit, the impact of which lays the groundwork for the entire relationship. Bob told me he captures that first hit in creating his caricatures.

我没有超感官能力。你也能知道。怎么知道的呢？因为在你有时间进行理性思考之前，你就会对某人产生一种第六感。研究表明，情绪反应甚至在大脑有时间记录是什么导致这种反应之前就已经发生了。因此，当某人看着你的那一刻，他或她会受到强烈的冲击，这种冲击为整个关系奠定了基础。鲍勃告诉我，他在创作漫画时捕捉到了这种第一印象的冲击。

Deciding to pursue my own agenda for How to Talk to Any- one, I asked, “Bob, if you wanted to portray somebody really cool—you know, intelligent, strong, charismatic, principled, fas- cinating, caring, interested in other people. . . .”

决定按照我自己写《如何与任何人交谈》的思路继续，我问：“鲍勃，如果你想描绘一个非常酷的人 —— 你知道的，聪明、坚强、有魅力、有原则、迷人、体贴、对他人感兴趣……”

“Easy,” Bob interrupted. He knew precisely what I was get- ting at. “Just give ’em great posture, a heads-up look, a confident smile, and a direct gaze.” It’s the ideal image for somebody who’s a Somebody.

“很简单，” 鲍勃打断我说道。他很清楚我想问什么。“只要让他们有良好的姿势、抬头挺胸的神态、自信的微笑和直视的目光就行。” 这就是一个有身份、有地位的人的理想形象。

HowtoLookLikeaSomebody

如何看起来像个重要人物

My friend Karen is a highly respected professional in the home- furnishings business. Her husband is an equally big name in the communications field. They have two small sons.

我的朋友卡伦是家居用品行业备受尊敬的专业人士。她的丈夫在传播领域也是声名显赫。他们有两个年幼的儿子。

Whenever Karen is at a home-furnishings industry event, everyone pays deference to her. She’s a very important person in that world. Her colleagues at conventions jostle for position just to be seen casually chatting with her and, they hope, be pho- tographed rubbing elbows with her for industry bibles like Home Furnishings Executive and Furniture World.

每当卡伦参加家居用品行业活动时，每个人都会对她表示敬重。在那个领域，她是个非常重要的人物。在行业会议上，她的同事们争着抢位置，只为能被看到与她随意聊天，还希望能在《家居用品执行官》和《家具世界》等行业权威刊物上刊登与她并肩的照片。

Yet, Karen complains, when she accompanies her husband to communications functions, she might as well be a nobody. When she takes her kids to school functions, she’s just another mom. She once asked me, “Leil, how can I stand out from the crowd so peo- ple who don’t know me will approach me and at least assume I’m an interesting person?” The techniques in this section accomplish precisely that. When you use the next nine techniques, you will come across as a special person to everyone you meet. You will stand out as a Somebody in whatever crowd you find yourself in, even if it’s not your crowd.

然而，卡伦抱怨说，当她陪同丈夫参加传播领域的活动时，她就像个无名小卒。当她带着孩子参加学校活动时，她只是另一个普通妈妈。她曾经问我：“莱尔，我怎样才能从人群中脱颖而出，让不认识我的人主动接近我，至少认为我是个有趣的人呢？” 本节中的技巧就能做到这一点。当你运用接下来的九个技巧时，在你遇到的每个人眼中，你都会显得与众不同。无论身处何种人群，你都会像个重要人物一样引人注目，即使那不是你熟悉的领域。

Let’s start with your smile.

来源：天哥教育