摘要：Most people don't want to be cowards. Generally, we want to stand our ground, not give up what we have, and hang in there until th

Most people don't want to be cowards. Generally, we want to stand our ground, not give up what we have, and hang in there until things get better.

大多数人都不想成为懦夫。一般来说，我们想坚守自己的立场，不放弃我们所拥有的，坚持下去，直到情况好转。

For example, we don't want to be quitters, so we keep working at our jobs, even though the environment is toxic.

例如，我们不想放弃，所以我们继续工作，即使环境是有毒的。

Or, we keep bad friends around and stay in harmful relationships, although we may have attempted many times to change how they treat us.

或者，我们与坏朋友保持关系，保持有害的关系，尽管我们可能曾多次尝试改变他们对待我们的方式。

But sometimes, we could ask ourselves whether or not the situation we're in is worth maintaining. Sometimes, our best option is to walk away and mean it.

但有时，我们可以问问自己，我们所处的情况是否值得维持。有时，我们最好的选择是离开，并且认真对待。

Walking away can be freeing. Although some see it as giving up or failing. But when should we walk away?

离开可以让人解脱。虽然有些人认为这是放弃或失败。但我们什么时候应该离开呢？

The decision to leave seems easy, but it's quite complex, influenced by our fears and attachments.

离开的决定似乎很容易，但它非常复杂，受到我们的恐惧和依恋的影响。

At its heart, it's about asking ourselves a fundamental question: Is this situation good for me, or should I move on? It's a simple question, but, for many, extremely difficult to answer.

从本质上讲，这是在问自己一个基本问题：这种情况对我有好处吗，还是我应该继续前进？这是一个简单的问题，但对很多人来说，很难回答。

This video explores the idea of 'walking away' using philosophy and (possibly surprisingly) economics, which could help us decide when to stay and when to walk away.

该视频使用哲学和（可能令人惊讶的）经济学探讨了“离开”的概念，这可以帮助我们决定何时留下，何时离开。

Some people consider the act of walking away an act of weakness. Funnily enough, the people who do often benefit from us sticking around. Why is that?

有些人认为离开是一种软弱的行为。有趣的是，那些这样做的人往往会从我们的留下中受益。为什么呢？

It's because the act of walking away is often the only action that makes them lose power over us.

因为离开往往是唯一让他们失去对我们控制力的行为。

Walking away in itself is an act of power; it signals our capacity to thrive independently of what the other party provides.

离开本身就是一种权力行为；它表明我们有能力独立于对方提供的东西而茁壮成长。

Hence, walking away is an excellent negotiating position: if we walk away, we show our independence of the outcome and thus strengthen our positions.

因此，离开是一种极好的谈判立场：如果我们离开，我们就表明了我们对结果的独立性，从而加强了我们的立场。

However, many people experience difficulties with walking away. We find it challenging to let go of what we walk away from. So, why is this the case?

然而，许多人在离开时遇到困难。我们发现很难放弃我们放弃的东西。那么，为什么会这样呢？

A reason why we find it difficult is attachment. We dread walking away because we're attached to the thing we intend to walk away from. This thing could even be something not yet in our possession.

我们觉得困难的一个原因是依恋。我们害怕离开，因为我们依恋我们打算放弃的东西。这个东西甚至可能是我们还没有拥有的东西。

For example, we really want to have a particular car; we've been ogling it on the internet for a couple of months already, discussed it with friends and spouses, grew fonder of the idea of having it for ourselves, and considered purchasing it every day.

例如，我们非常想要一辆特定的汽车；我们已经在互联网上盯着它看了几个月，与朋友和配偶讨论过它，越来越喜欢拥有它的想法，并且每天都在考虑购买它。

So, before even buying it, we've established an attachment to that car.

所以，在购买之前，我们已经对那辆车产生了依恋。

When we're attached, whether it's to an idea for the future, something in the present, or memories of the past, it's difficult to let go; it's difficult to walk away from the things we're attached to.

当我们依恋时，无论是对未来的想法、现在的事物还是对过去的回忆，都很难放手；很难摆脱我们所依恋的东西。

This mechanism applies to objects, people, animals, ideas… almost anything we grow fond of. But through these attachments, these things have power over us.

这种机制适用于物体、人、动物、想法……几乎任何我们喜欢的东西。但通过这些依恋，这些东西对我们有影响力。

And thus, those who provide us with these "things" can leverage this power.

因此，那些为我们提供这些“东西”的人可以利用这种力量。

So, if a car salesman knows you're dying to have what he's selling, he knows his negotiating position is strong.

如果一个汽车销售员知道你渴望得到他卖的东西，他就知道他的谈判地位是很强的。

Because you're so attached to the idea of having this car, he expects you'll find it difficult to walk away from a bad deal and will likely overlook defects.

因为你对拥有这辆车的想法如此执着，所以他认为你会发现很难放弃一笔糟糕的交易，而且很可能会忽视缺陷。

'Attachment' also causes difficulties in walking away from toxic relationships.

“依恋”也会导致难以摆脱有毒的关系。

If a friend, business partner, or spouse mistreats us, but we're deeply attached to these people (or what they provide us), then it's pretty challenging to walk away from them because by doing so, we lose the pain, but also lose someone we're deeply entangled with; we escape something we're averse to but also lose something we desire.

如果朋友、商业伙伴或配偶虐待我们，但我们深深地依恋这些人（或他们为我们提供的东西），那么离开他们就相当困难，因为这样做，我们不仅会失去痛苦，但也会失去一个我们深深纠缠的人；我们逃离了我们厌恶的东西，但也失去了我们渴望的东西。

And these people shaming or guilt-tripping us for leaving makes it even more difficult to walk out that door.

这些人因我们离开而羞辱或让我们感到内疚，这让我们更难走出那扇门。

Another reason it's so difficult to walk away is the fear of the unknown. We fear what could happen if we abandon a familiar situation.

另一个很难离开的原因是害怕未知。我们害怕如果放弃熟悉的情况会发生什么。

What will be on the other side? Will it be better or worse? We might loathe our jobs, but what terror awaits us when we leave them?

另一边会是什么？会更好还是更糟？我们可能讨厌我们的工作，但当我们离开它们时，等待我们的是什么恐惧？

We might be in a toxic marriage and wish to get out, but won't our worlds fall apart if we do?

我们可能正处于一段有毒的婚姻中，并希望摆脱它，但如果我们这样做，我们的世界会不会崩溃？

The uncertainty of the future can be so frightening that it prevents us from making that leap of faith.

未来的不确定性可能令人恐惧，以至于阻止我们做出信仰的飞跃。

We're walking away from the known into the unknown, from the familiar and foreseeable into the dark and unpredictable. So, how do we decide when it's time to walk away?

我们从已知走向未知，从熟悉和可预见走向黑暗和不可预测。那么，我们如何决定何时离开呢？

Of course, whether or not walking away is the best option is mainly subjective: it's complex, based on many factors. So, again, how do we decide when to walk away?

当然，离开是否是最好的选择主要是主观的：它很复杂，取决于许多因素。那么，我们又如何决定何时离开呢？

Stoic philosopher Epictetus presented a simple simile that could help make this decision.

斯多葛派哲学家爱比克泰德提出了一个简单的比喻，可以帮助做出这个决定。

I've talked about this simile before, but here's it again: imagine there's a fire in the house producing smoke.

我以前谈过这个比喻，但这里再说一遍：想象一下房子里着火了，冒出了烟。

As long as the smoke is moderate and there's enough ventilation to let it escape, it's fine to stay.

只要烟雾适中，通风良好，烟雾可以散去，留下来也没问题。

But if the amount of smoke gets out of hand and becomes harmful, it's probably best to leave the house.

但如果烟雾量失控并造成危害，最好离开家。

This simile is a strong metaphor for understanding when it's time to walk away from situations that harm us. But it's still pretty vague when it comes to practice.

这个比喻是一个强有力的隐喻，让我们明白什么时候该远离对我们有害的情况。但在实践中，它仍然相当模糊。

Like, what constitutes too much smoke? In some cases, the harmful effects are clear, for example, in cases of physical abuse.

比如，什么构成了过多的烟雾？在某些情况下，有害影响是显而易见的，例如在身体虐待的情况下。

But many times, the complexity of situations makes it difficult to decide whether or not to walk away from them.

但很多时候，情况的复杂性使得很难决定是否要远离它们。

The smoke, therefore, surrounds us more subtly and may even, paradoxically, blind us for its own presence, as in, we can't see the smoke because of, well, the smoke.

因此，烟雾更微妙地包围着我们，甚至可能自相矛盾地使我们看不见它的存在，就像我们因为烟雾而看不到烟雾一样。

So, how do we identify this tangible concept of 'smoke' Epictetus talked about?

那么，我们如何识别爱比克泰德所说的这个有形的“烟雾”概念？

Let's move away from philosophy for a while and explore some concepts from economics to expand on Epictetus' analogy and help our decision-making process in smoky situations.

让我们暂时远离哲学，探索一些经济学概念，以扩展爱比克泰德的类比，并帮助我们在烟雾弥漫的情况下做出决策。

The first one is the… Have you ever listed the pros and cons of staying in a particular situation, be it a job, a relationship, or perhaps a living environment?

第一个是……你有没有列出过留在特定情况下的利弊，无论是工作、关系还是生活环境？

In that case, you've engaged in a cost-benefit analysis. The 'benefits' may include reasons why we entered the situation in the first place or what we hoped to gain by staying in it.

在这种情况下，你已经进行了成本效益分析。 “好处”可能包括我们最初进入这种处境的原因，或者我们希望通过留在其中获得什么。

Take Epictetus' house, for example. It provides shelter and storage, the surrounding neighborhood may be good, and the location is convenient.

以爱比克泰德的房子为例。它提供了庇护和储藏，周围的社区可能很好，而且位置很方便。

来源：英语东